All Alone In The World
The title of this performance is called Mutterseelenallein, translated it means All Alone In The World.
Mutterseelenallein is constructed out of three words: Mutter ( mother), Seelen (souls) and allein ( alone).
Originally I planed to do the performance on scene, with a ventriloquist and the doll. Due to the pandemic circumstances following set- up was made:
The mother (ventriloquist´s dummy) is visible on one of the participating screens of the on-line conference. She follows the symposium. Then it is her turn to talk. Participants are asked to turn off their video screens, so that they are only seen as “black holes”, like absent minds. But they still can see the mother. Then she starts to talk.
…. Yes, hello. So you are calling again are you?
I’m doing badly. Very badly.
It’s awful. Everything is awful.
You have no idea.
You are in the prime of your life, you can’t imagine this pain at all. The last time I vomited so much was when I was pregnant with you. I was vomiting bile. They cut me open.
They are out there somewhere. I would have liked to be proud of my children. Like other people who can speak about their children, without making a fool of themselves.